My Third C-Section And Waiting To Find Out My Baby's Gender
Of all the things I have wanted to do in life, becoming a mom has been my greatest hope. There was a time when I thought motherhood was out of reach for me and yet, I am now a mom of three!
That realization keeps hitting me as I slowly grow accustomed to the chaos that is my daily life.
I was hoping to try for an unmedicated birth with my third baby even though I knew that it would likely end up in a another c-section.
Ultimately, we scheduled a c-section for multiple reasons, which I will explain soon.
And although, surgery went smoothly, there were a few wild events that made my third birth experience uniquely interesting.
THE SHORT VERSION
• Getting pregnant so soon after a miscarriage (my 3rd pregnancy) when I was most of the way through the first trimester had a big impact on my mental health during my 4th pregnancy.
• An ER visit at 5 weeks due to intense abdominal pain and low blood pressure (64/40)
• An ultrasound at 34 weeks showed my baby was breech and had been for quite some time.
• My husband got food poisoning the day before our scheduled c-section.
• We waited until birth to find out the baby's gender this time!
• I passed out during my second night in the hospital.
• One week postpartum, one of my eyes was dilated and wouldn't constrict when light was shone on it. Of course, we thought it might be something serious.
Related Posts:
How I Found Peace After My C-Section
My Repeat C-Section Experience
THE FULL STORY
I'm glad we chose a c-section, and yet going to the hospital and waiting for surgery was not the same peaceful experience we had when my second baby was born.
For one thing, I had a miscarriage between my second and third babies. Getting pregnant so soon after a miscarriage at 10 weeks seemed to have a big impact on my mental health during my 4th pregnancy.
I'm still grieving the loss of my tiny baby in the summer of 2024, and I doubt I will ever get over it.
Of course, I was happy to get pregnant again several short weeks later, but I experienced a profound disconnect I'd never known in my previous pregnancies.
I know it's possible to hold joy and heartbreak at the same time, so I can't say that my miscarriage was the primary influence on my mental health for several months. But I do know it had an impact on me.
In the first several weeks, I felt anxious that I might lose this baby too. That stress was briefly heightened by a medical scare at just 5 weeks.
As I got out of bed one morning I felt instant and intense abdominal pain. If I tried to sit up or stand I came close to passing out.
When my husband asked if I needed him to take me to the hospital I wasn't sure how I would get dressed and get to the car without collapsing. So, he called the paramedics. My blood pressure was somewhere around 65/40 and they decided to take me to the ER.
Of course, no one was saying anything, but I knew what this pain in early pregnancy might mean.
Fortunately, not long after I arrived at the hospital, the pain began to subside. I was both relieved and frustrated. Relieved that my baby and I were safe but frustrated that it happened at all.
We never did find out what caused the pain. The ER doctor simply gave me nausea medication to take home even though that's not what sent me to the ER. That was frustrating too, and I could have done without that scare but I'm thankful to have a healthy baby.
From there, my pregnancy was straightforward other than the emotional disconnect from myself, my loved ones, and my baby that I mentioned earlier. That was hard but I made it through, and I don't want to go into here.
At 34 weeks an ultrasound showed that my baby was breech. I knew then that he had been for some time, realizing that hard lump in my ribs had been his head all along.
I was feeling more uncomfortable than with my previous pregnancy so I guessed that this baby was bigger than my second born. It turned out that I was right.
Up until this point I had hoped to try for a vaginal birth. Given my first birth experience I had very low expectations this time.
Upon discovering that the baby was breech, and sensing he or she was big, I felt it was best to opt for a c-section afterall.
My doctor said we could try an aversion but my gut told me my baby wouldn't flip or stay if we tried to get him or her head down. So, surgery was planned for 39 weeks and 1 day based on my due date.
It so happened that my husband got an especially bad case of food poisoning the day before.
We had arranged for our two kids to stay at my in-laws' home for most of the week. And we hoped to go out to dinner after dropping them off.
While driving to my in-laws' house, after feeling lousy all day, my husband got sick on the side of the road.
At first we weren't confident that it was food poisoning instead of the stomach flu since he and I had eaten the same foods the day before. He decided to sleep on the couch that night just in case.
I felt nervous imagining myself catching whatever he had and throwing up right after having a major surgery.
My poor husband still felt so weak the next morning, it felt like a miracle he was able to be there for the birth.
When I gave birth to my second baby, we felt so calm in the hour or so before, especially in contrast to the first time we had a baby.
Maybe it was the food poisoning or something else, but for some reason we both felt anxious that early morning. I felt excited, but mostly nervous.
When we waited to have our second baby, I was so relaxed that I fell asleep for a little while. But this time, I was physically so uncomfortable and we both just wanted it to be over with.
I felt immediate relief when I finally got my spinal block not only because the numbness comes almost immediately. As I laid down on the operating table I felt myself relax emotionally too.
We chose to keep our baby's gender a surprise and we had no preference, but I had a feeling all pregnancy that it was a boy.
When my doctor held my baby up for me to see I said, "It's a boy! I knew it!"
Waiting to find out was one of the coolest experiences especially because this was our third baby and we already had a son and a daughter.
I could hardly wait for my kids to meet their baby brother and to tell them he was a boy. Seeing them fall instantly in love with him was one of the sweetest experiences of my life.
On the second night of my four day hospital stay, I passed out in the shower.
The second day typically hurts a lot more but I was in more pain than I remember from my first and second c-sections. And I couldn't walk as far without needing to lie down again.
I still hurt despite pain medications so I was given something extra strong through my IV which made me even weaker.
In the evening, I was encouraged to take a shower as some point to make it easier to take off the bandage over my incision.
After going to the bathroom I thought, "Well, I'm already in here." So, I asked my husband to help me shower.
I still hurt so much and I felt so weak that I was shaking despite sitting. It was so bad I had to ask my husband to wash my face for me. And I felt cold despite the warm water, but I wanted to get it over with.
Soon, I felt I might pass out. I couldn't hold myself up any longer and sort of slumped onto my kneeling husband. He called the nurse in and I guess I went unconscious soon after that.
I only remember feeling so disoriented and lightheaded that I wished I could lay down right there on the floor.
It only took a few minutes for them to help me back into bed, but we all knew I wouldn't be taking that specific pain medication again.
The last bit of excitement came a week later.
I was at home washing my hands when I noticed that one of my pupils was dilated much more than the other.
I asked my husband if it was obvious or if I was imagining it, which is funny to recall now because it was so obvious.
He and I were only aware that serious medical conditions could cause exaggerated eye dilation. I hadn't hit my head, so it couldn't be head trauma.
So he worried that maybe I was experiencing an aneurysm or maybe a blood clot from the surgery. It's possible but I felt it was unlikely.
I shrugged and said, "It's probably because of the drugs."
"Oxycodone wouldn't do that," he said and I knew he was right, but somehow I wasn't convinced that it was serious.
We tried calling my brother-in-law who is an ER doctor to ask him, but my husband had to leave a voicemail.
So we debated going to the hospital, but I really didn't want to. I said, "We'll take all the time to go to the ER and it will be nothing. Then we will be stuck with a stupid medical bill."
If it was something serious, we needed to go right away, but I wanted to wait just a little longer.
Soon my brother-in-law called us back and the first thing he asked was, "Did she have an anti-nausea patch for the surgery?"
I had forgotten about it all week, then felt it with my fingers the early that morning and took it off.
Apparently, if you get that stuff in your hands and rub your eye, it can make it dilate and stay that way for a few hours.
So I was right, it was the drugs! Honestly, though, what a scare. We were so relieved.
That's the end, I guess.
Becoming a mom for the third time has been totally worthwhile though it's been a wild ride. I'm relieved to be here with my three healthy kids, even though my husband and I are tired and outnumbered now.
I'm glad we did a third c-section even though it's not what I wanted. And I loved keeping the gender a surprise for us.
Would I do it all again? Only time will tell if I am that crazy.
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